Here's The Catch

I got a notice from NY State Department of Motor Vehicles the other day reminding me that my driver's license expires on my birthday and I need to renew it. As I don't have a social security number I have to go down to the DMV and wait in line, have my photo taken and pay $50 for a five year renewal. (I know, to Europeans this is a bizarre idea. There you take a test and if you pass you are pronounced competent to drive- unless you have an accident or injury you are set until your crusty old age, and they don't fleece you $50 bucks every few years either).
But, whatever, you do what you have to do. I gather my 6 points of ID necessary to get my new license, plan a trip to the Dept of Social Security to get a letter that states I am a legal alien and an appointment at the hairdresser so I don't look like an alien when they take my photo for the license and then I read the fine print.
As part of the Patriot Act and to ensure the security of the USA I have to have a passport valid for a year; check, and a visa valid for six months. No. No. No. My visa extension was granted for nine months in July. It expires in March 2007. Our immigration lawyer assures us we will have our I 140 approved by February and that will give me my own SS number (which by the way is the same as the Taxpayer Identification Number I was given when I arrived, so the authorities know who I am and where I live and they collect taxes from me every year).
What am I supposed to do between November 25 and sometime in February? Drive on my international license? Stay at home?
If anyone in Congress really thinks that this will prevent illegal aliens from getting to work then they are delusional. It will only encourage people not to get driving licenses or insurance. It won't prevent terrorism it will simply drive people underground and piss off people like me who do everything by the book and still end up being punished.

You don't exist

Is the worst thing about voter rights in this country not that you can't get a voter registration card in Missouri without a birth certificate but that you can be denied a copy of your birth certificate because you were abandoned as a child? Or that you can be refused voter registration even though you have a social security number?
You can't vote but you can pay taxes. Oh yes, I'm sure that's fair.

Real capuccino, Caffe Artigiano

Real capuccino, Caffe Artigiano
Originally uploaded by modernemama.

This is another reason for never leaving Vancouver. There are four branches of Caffe Artigiano serving excellent coffee in downtown Vancouver. A different design every time. And it tastes like coffee, and they serve it in cups, and their scones aren't sweet.
I miss Canada.

They let us back in

We successfully jumped another hurdle and got our passports stamped with the new visa. This one expires on March 9 2007. That's right less than seven months to go. And then we go through the whole process again. Is this a sensible use of US resources I ask myself. It worked out well for the Canadians as we stayed dive days in Vancouver but apart from our $100 (in cash) what did America get? $100 wouldn't pay for the administrative and security costs associated with the process especially with the increased security over the past weeks.
The trip did give us the chance to compare and contrast the immigration departments of Canada and the USA. First off although we arrived in Canada only a couple of days after the latest terrorism plot to blow up planes using liquids, there were no lines at immigration. Every booth was manned and the officers were extremely friendly and cheerful. Because we were there just to get our visa from the US consulate the officer asked us to "Do (me) a favour, take a jog left and check in with Immigration Services". They were also delightful and even appeared interested in our responses about how long we'd been in the US, what we were doing. Everything was completed with a smile.
Returning to the US was the exact opposite. As usual the lines were long and only a third of the booths were manned. People were shouted at because they were not moving fast enough to the correct line and when we got to the immigration officer we were greeted with a snarl. Charming. The questions were the same but the tone of voice suggested that the officer didn't believe a word of it. Our fingerprints were taken (again) and our papers were stamped (again) and returned without any form of greeting or instruction about what to do next.
It was a joy to visit Canada and depressing to reenter the US. It doesn't have to be like this. Good manners should be mandatory and a smile costs nothing but goes a long way to engender goodwill. If the problem is understanding, USCIS should invest in more immigration officers. But I don't believe it's that. I think they are afraid that kindness would be mistaken for weakness. And that theory's not borne out by any psychological study or by history. If their attitude doesn't change, I'm not looking forward to reentering the country again next year.

Vancouver here we come

We have to get our latest visa put in our passports. The last time we were able to send them to somewhere in deepest make work country but now USCIS insists we visit an embassy outside the US. Given a choice of Canada or Mexico we opted for the nearest, Canada. But there were no appointments at Montreal, Toronto, Quebec City or Ottawa. The first available appointment was in Vancouver pretty much immediately. The next was over a month away. Guess which we are going to take? An 8 hour flight across country to get a stamp in a passport. A stamp that expires March 30 2007. Whereupon we will have to go through this performance again.
We have to be at the US embassy at 8 am with our documents, be fingerprinted and if our fingerprints don't match some criminal or terrorist we can collect our newly visa'd passports the next day. The embassy website says to allow three days just in case. I'm unhappy about the whole thing especially as we are leaving the dogs and cats here. I've always wanted to go to British Colombia but the circumstances are stressing me out.
All being well we'll be back in a few days. Oh, and don't even think about burgling the house, we have a pet sitter.

Where have I been?

create your own personalized map of the USA
I've been through lots of other states on my way to these but I chose to highlight only the ones I set out to visit.

I think it's my theme song

Not Ready To Make Nice

24 hours cursing

Crap, rats, damn stupid m*therf**ker, bollocks. Before you flag this post as offensive hear me out.
A month ago we booked tickets to Stuff Happens a drama about why we went to war in Iraq, and I rashly made a bet with Steve. Now, people who know me know I NEVER BET UNLESS I AM CERTAIN OF WINNING. When we booked the tickets it was mid April and four generals had come out and called for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation. And Dick Cheney's poll numbers were in the 20s. So I felt very safe making a bet that they would be out of government by the time we saw the play. If Steve lost he would have to wash all the windows in the house, and there are forty windows here so it was some hard labour. Steven then searched for a suitably arduous task for me: in the totally unlike event that I lost I would have to be nice for a week. I had to ask for some clarification because I don't know what "nice" is. He specified that I wouldn't be allowed to lose my temper or swear for an entire week.
The bet expires at 2 pm tomorrow and it looks like I will be the loser. Doubly a loser because Rumsfeld and Cheney are still in power. So I am going to get all the anger off my chest in the next 25 hours.
F**king b*st*rd bet.

And now for the good news

Central Park is going wireless. So in summer if it finally stops raining we will be able to sit on the Great Lawn and surf. Finally something for free.

Presidential Pass

According to GW Bush immigrants should be able to get in line for citizenship if they can prove they have learnt English and have been working and paying taxes. Now I think my English passes muster and I've been paying taxes, many taxes, way more taxes than I paid even in Belgium, land of the tax burden. But I am expressively forbidden by the terms of my visa from working until we have our green card.
So my question is: did the Prez just give me permission to go out and break the law?

Rain

It's not just Raining in Connecticut but also Huntington, NY. Our weather here like our cell phone service is more aligned to CT than NY. Bands of rain cause flash floods along the Nassau/Suffolk border and particularly over the beautiful Incorporated Village.
I am again a prisoner in my own home, the courtyard is flooded, the north drive is flooded and its teeming down. Also, Steven took the hard top off my jeep two weeks ago and hasn't had time to put the soft top on. So I'm topless, which with this weather means I'm also carless. I was so bored I created this movie for you. Maybe I should have a nap like all the animals.

green card update

We knew it was too good to be true. Our application was approved by the Dept of Labor and the lawyer filed with the appropriate Case Office in Vermont. Now we had a visa application number (yes it has taken 5.5 years to get a number) we could check progress on the USCIS (US Customs and Immigration) website. Excitedly we typed in the number and immediately had a timeframe for a decision: 90-400 days. BFD!
Still, we signed up for automatic email updates and hoped it would be low end rather than the high end of the estimate. A few days later we got an email to say our documents had been sent to Texas as, in the interests of streamlining and efficiency, they would be handling all I140 (green card)applications for the East Coast. Once again they urged us to check the case status online. Great news. Texas was handling cases from January 2006. That didn't seem too bad.
Then we got another email to say our documents had been received in Texas, and once again to check the status of our case. Bad news. Estimated time for the Texas Case Office to make a decision: 400-450 days. WTF?
No wonder people come here and wander out of the system. Bureaucracy sucks. I can only wonder what will happen to the immigrants here, legal or otherwise after Congress passes the proposed Immigration Bill.

No spa

No US adventures again this month. We were supposed to be off to New Hampshire for a weekend of pampering by the sea but we had to cancel it yesterday. Steve phoned me from work to tell me he had to be on the 7:15 pm flight from La Guardia the day we got back form the spa.
The spa is in Wentworth by the Sea, New Hampshire and we live on Long Island, New York. It takes 2 hours 30 mins to get from the spa to the ferry in New London, CT. The ferry takes an hour and three-quarters. We live a couple of hours form the ferry terminal at Orient Point. Then it takes an hour to the airport and check-in is an hour before take-off. So we would have to leave early in the morning, drive like crazy (worse than Steven's usual driving) and hope nothing went wrong. Not very relaxing! Plus we would have had to cancel the treatments we had booked for that morning. So it didn't seem worth it.
I'm pretty pissed off at this point, and even more stressed than I was when Steven first suggested the break as a way for us to get some R&R.
Rats!

Road Sweeping

One of the weirder things about living in our beautiful incorporated village is how it works. We live on a road that stretches from the Town of Huntington all the way to Long Island Sound. The Town is responsible for the road up to the village boundary a couple of hundred feet from where we live. The Town paints double yellow lines down the centre of the road, puts in storm drains, and sweeps the road regularly. As soon as you reach the village all of this disappears. Every time it rains, our road floods because we have no storm drains. The road is full of debris because it is rarely swept. And we pay extra village taxes for this, happily of course because we live in a beautiful incorporated village. Nuts, but not especially weird.
But wait. Once a year, after all possibility of snow has evaporated, the road sweeper is hired to sweep the beautiful village road. Back and forth it goes, for several days, sweeping the sand, mud and leaves left behind after the ravages of winter. All day long I hear it, sweeping back and forth, back and forth, leaving our road so nice and clean befitting the beautiful incorporated village. Except that it only sweeps the village roads. Our house is on the corner of a cul-de-sac and the main village road, and the cul-de-sac, despite the fact that it has the same name as the main road, is in fact a private road. So it doesn't get swept. At all. Ever.
At sometime Steve will go out and scoop up the mud and grit by hand, and sweep the road with a broom, and clean out the grate to the storm drains that we have because we are on a private road.
Nuts and weird and very expensive.

Crazy cocktail time

6:30pm is cocktail time here and I was just cutting up limes for a well-deserved vodka and tonic when the dogs started barking like crazies. As this happens roughly ten times a day: the UPS guy, Fedex gal, Rob the mailman, landscaper, neighbor's landscaper, other neighbor's landscaper, the neighbor opposite's landscaper, their contractors, a jogger, a dog walker, I tend to ignore them. But this was late for any one other than a walker so I looked out and I could see someone or at least the shirt and tie of someone who I presumed had something to do with my neighbor's renovation project. SO I yelled at the dogs to shut up and went back to mixing the drink.
Then I looked out of the window and I saw a bunny streaking across the lawn with Jefke in hot pursuit. I didn't want the cat to get the rabbit so I ran outside in my fluffy slippers and sweats screaming at the cat in the hopes of distracting him. That was when I became aware that another neighbor was driving up the cul-de-sac and can see me in my fluffy slippers having a meltdown on my drive. So dignified. Anyway, his car got between the rabbit and the cat and he sat there long enough for the rabbit to get away. I waved and the cat followed me back up the drive towards the house. Whereupon my other neighbor came to see if I was ok as she heard the screaming. OK by now I am mortified.
However, it turns out she was coming over anyway as she saw someone lurking about my property (which was what disturbed the cat) and wanted to check if I was alright.
Well I think whoever it was was probably just lost and my screeching scared them away.
But the weirdst thing was she said it was "a black kid" and I thought "oh, no not a missionary at cocktail time".
I think I've got a little racist living here and I really need that cocktail now.

Happy Birthday?

As if turning 50 wasn't traumatic enough, Steven received another poke up the arse from his HMO in the form of a birthday letter. In addition to wishing him many happy returns, they also urged him to go get a colonoscopy. A truly depressing letter within an accompanying leaflet that portrayed six elderly people all happy and smiling; presumably at the thought that a tube up the anus would protect them from colon cancer. Go tell that to the forty year olds who died of the disease.

Home alone

Steve is in California again, but I couldn't face the six hour flight and three hour time delay again. Twice in two months is enough. It's enough for me to know that once again the weather in San Diego is worse than it is here.
So I get to spend some quality alone time with the animals and to notice how much cleaner the bathroom is when Steve takes his grooming kit away with him.

La Jolla Beach

03-12-06_1154.jpg
Originally uploaded by modernemama.

It's cold today, ironically it's 10 degrees warmer in New York. We walked through La Jolla, which is kind of like Palm Beach without the humidity (or today the warmth). We did have a great meal at George's on the Cove, particularly memorable: the dungerness crab salad and beef shortribs on smokey mashed potato, and especially the sparkling Schild shiraz.